


Before the Monster, I Was Me

by hazardousgrace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Creation, Deceit, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Destruction, Fallen Angels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstanding, Multi, Polyamory, Sabriel - Freeform, Samifer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 23:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazardousgrace/pseuds/hazardousgrace
Summary: As hard as it was for everyone else to grasp, Lucifer didn't hate humans and wasn't always the Devil. The only one who believed the fallen archangel was Sam Winchester, who was destined as the one true vessel for Lucifer. Their bond allowed the mortal to see through the blackness shrouding God's lost angel for who he really was. But Sam was already spoken for when it came to angels with his Trickster on his shoulder. Would Sam still save Lucifer from the monster that possessed him to wreak havoc on the world? Or was Lucifer going to be left to rot once more?





	Before the Monster, I Was Me

“The Creation

1In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. 3Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.  
6Then God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” 7God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. 8God called the expanse heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day.  
9Then God said, “Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so. 10God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good. 11Then God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them”; and it was so. 12The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good. 13There was evening and there was morning, a third day.  
14Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years; 15and let them be for lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. 16God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. 17God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. 19There was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.  
20Then God said, “Let the waters teem with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens.” 21God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind; and God saw that it was good. 22God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” 23There was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.  
24Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth after their kind”; and it was so. 25God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creeps on the ground after its kind; and God saw that it was good.” - Genesis 1:1 from the New American Standard Bible.

Everyone knew the story of Creation as God had bestowed that knowledge upon them through the prophets of old. Many also had knowledge of the other beings that existed, but those stories were incomplete and best left for the Darkness to swallow and swallow it did. There were pieces of the story that not even the angels knew, but one day there would be one special human that would know it all. The story of one of the most beloved and powerful angels and his slow descent to Hell without his consent was entrusted to one and only one person, the true vessel of the lost archangel. But we’ll get to that soon enough. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

God created the four archangels once the Heavens were created and secure. After all, you wouldn’t leave your babies unprotected would you? Neither would God. The first to be created was Michael, who unintentionally had a bit of a sense of privilege in being the first created and therefore the closest to their Father out of all his siblings. God personally raised Michael while he created the next archangel. By the time Lucifer was created, Michael was equivalent to a six year old human with a peaked sense of curiosity and imagination. He pestered his Father constantly as he awaited the arrival of his baby brother peppering Him with questions about Creation and when Lucifer would be among them.

“Dad, why did You make the grass green and the soil brown? Why is the sky blue but the clouds are white?” Michael asked, sitting criss cross on the ground next to his Father’s work table. “How much longer until my baby brother is created?”

“Hush, my child,” God chuckled, hugging his first created. “Have patience and faith that your Father knows what He does and why. Your brother will be with us soon, I promise.”

Michael blushed and smiled at his Father as he was set down. God kissed his forehead and sent him off to watch over Earth through the pure waters that resided in Heaven’s center. The young archangel was entranced by the flow of life. A flower bloomed and a bee pollinated it, taking the excess spores to its hive where it was later made into honey. On its next trip to pollinate more flowers, the bee was eaten by a bird. Later, that bird would be killed and eaten by a wild cat. One day, the wild cat would die and give its body over to the soil and any scavengers that may come across it. Michael had moved his attention over the oceans, where a similar flow of life and energy was occurring. As he watched a pod of dolphins gracefully leap out of the deep blue waters, there was a shrill and unhappy cry sounding through Heaven. Michael grinned and dashed over to his Father’s work bench. There the larger than life celestial sat cradling a tiny cherubic angel with glowing fluffy white wings in his arms.

“Michael, my son, meet Lucifer, your younger brother.” God announced in hushed tones as the baby angel started to calm down. “He’s quite the sensitive little graceling. You’ll have to help watch over him. Do you think you can help me, Michael?”

“Yes, Father!” Michael beamed, concentrating and using his wings to hover high enough to get a better look at his brother. “He’s beautiful, Dad…”

Lucifer looked up at his brother and squealed with joy. He didn’t know they could fly! He reached out and grabbed a hold of his brother’s hand, sucking on his fingers as they watched one another in awe. Michael was quite enamored with Lucifer and happily babied the younger on almost every occasion. He taught Lucifer to crawl, to walk, stretch his wings, and talk. They snuggled together when night fell and Michael would retell the story of Creation to his little brother and how their Father had said that one day he would make mortals in their images. Once Lucifer was old enough to be more independent, his curiosity often got him into trouble. The most memorable instance occurred when Lucifer tried to fly down to Earth. He was even more enamored with the world than his brother and wanted nothing more than to visit it himself and spend time with all the beautiful creatures. Much to his confusion, he was scolded by both God and Michael. He was told that Earth was no place for angels but never got an answer as to why. The more he pressed, the angrier they were with him until Lucifer was in tears and curling into himself with his wings wrapped around him. Father and Michael both apologized and did their best to make it up to him. This coddling continued until Michael discovered they were to have another sibling.

By the time Lucifer was around six years old in mortal age, the same age Michael had been when he was created, Raphael was created. The newest angel was much more like Michael than Lucifer and the oldest and youngest were soon as thick as angel grace. Raphael was practically his oldest brother’s mini-me and with all the attention being diverted to the youngest, Lucifer was left on the fray. He watched over the years as Michael and Raphael bonded and forgot all about the middle archangel. So the little outcast spent many a night alone in his own little corner of paradise, weeping softly into the clouds, which sent gentle showers down to earth. He wondered what he had done wrong and why his big brother didn’t care for him anymore. He eventually got his answer when God requested his presence by the work bench. He took His middle angelic child onto His lap and held him close.

“You’ve been quiet, Little One.” God pointed out, gently stroking his son’s wings. “That is very unlike you. Is something the matter?”

“Daddy, why doesn’t Mikey like me anymore?” Lucifer asked, his eyebrows scrunched with worry and confusion as a deep, pained frown tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Oh, sweet Lu,” God sighed sadly, a sympathetic smile on his face. “He does like you. In fact, he loves you. He and Raphael both do.”

“But they never spend time with me… It’s always just Mikey and Raphie.” Lucifer pressed, no less confused and hurt than before.

“Do I spend every moment with any of you?” God questioned, relaxing in the rocking chair as he pushed against the floor and watched his son thoughtfully.

“Well… No…” Lucifer hesitantly answered, a small bout of fear welling up inside him at that thought that maybe his Father didn’t like him anymore either.

“Stop right there, Little Angel.” God responded, tipping Lucifer’s chin up to look him in the eye. “That’s not what I meant. Just because I don’t spend every moment with any of you or all of you, does not mean that I do not love you. I love all my children and all my creations equally, but I have much to do so bonding time isn’t as long or often as any of us may like it to be. Besides, Michael likes to be a helper and he is very good at caring for you and your brother. Since you’ve grown, he’s looked after Raphael, who needs more guidance than you do.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Lucifer commented, still pondering the point. “But what am I supposed to do? Mikey teaches, Raphie learns and I just… exist…”

“I thought you might ask that,” God laughed, hugging his son and smiling brightly as Lucifer giggled. “First, you need to help me finish my latest creation and then you will have your task.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Lucifer giggled, excited that he got to help with a creation since even Mikey didn’t get to do that. “What can I do?”

“Lucifer, meet Gabriel.” God segwayed, lifting his son to better see the lifeless baby archangel with shimmering golden wings and caramel hair laid upon a small bed of clouds on the work table. “He’s the last of your kind to be created and your youngest brother.”

“Hi, Gabe!” Lucifer quietly greeted, awestruck by the tiny being. After not seeing any movement or sign of life, the middle archangel began to worry. “He’s not dead, is he, Daddy?”

“No, he’s not dead. He hasn’t been given life yet either. I thought he could use a special touch.” God answered, tucking a small sun shaped amber shard into the baby’s chest. “I need you to hold out your arm for me, Lu.”

Lucifer did as told, squeaking in surprise as God removed a small amount of grace from his being. He watched as his Father cupped the substance in his hands and then looked up at the celestial’s face.

“Whisper sweet words to it and blow it a kiss,” God instructed with a patient smile.

“Hi, silver water… Thank you for all that you do for me and my brothers. Please help Father bless my baby brother with life,” Lucifer whispered, staring into the shining substance. “So that he may see this wondrous universe that awaits him. I want to show him the way the stars kiss the skies, all the little things that wander the life planet, and tell him stories of Creation and what lies ahead… like Mikey used to do with me…”

Lucifer blew a kiss towards the life giving essence and watched as Father poured it into the youngest. After a few moments of nervous but patient waiting, Gabriel began twitch, cooing and yawning as he lazily opened his bright and beautiful amber eyes. The middle archangel climbed up on the work table and gathered his brother in a hug, wings wrapping around the littlest archangel.

“I love you, Gabe.” Lucifer whispered as the baby angel giggled and snuggled in closer.

“He is yours to look after, my sweet little Lu.” God informed his older son. “Do you think you can handle him?”

“Yes! I will never let anyone harm him.” Lucifer answered, a very somber and defensive tone to his voice as he gave God a very serious look.

From then on, Lucifer was never alone again. Gabriel happily stuck to his side, even at night, which was when stories were told and cuddles were exchanged. Gabriel was every bit as mischievous and curious as his mentor, resulting in many pranks and gentle scoldings by God and Michael. By the time Gabriel was the equivalent of a mortal toddler, God had made many lower level angels for various purposes and continued to do so. Lucifer and Gabriel were inseparable, especially upon the day that the Darkness grew too big for her britches and wanted more than what she had. With the help of his archangels, God bound the darkness and He resumed his first attempts at mortal beings after entrusting what would eventually be known as the Mark of Cain to Lucifer.

In the coming days, Gabriel would have crying spells, alarmed by the changes in his brother as the Darkness whispered of violent delights and Lucifer’s pranks would be harsher than normal. Instead of simply popping out and scaring their brothers, he would create visions of monsters to creep in their rooms at night and rather than simply dumping water over their heads, he poured honey over their wings, causing them to stick together rather painfully while the Darkness laughed and said it was all in good fun- just a harmless prank. Fortunately for the baby of their little family, Gabriel was never a victim but he stopped being an accomplice when he grew old enough to be more independent. Gabriel would gauge his brother to see whether it was a good or bad day before risking being around him. Night time was always the best time for Lucifer because the Darkness was often preoccupied so the two could snuggle and talk of stars and stories just as they did before Lucifer was burdened with the Mark.

“Luci?” Gabe quietly called peering around the door into his brother's room.

“Hey, baby brother,” Lucifer smiled, getting up from his nest and scooping the little archangel up in his arms. “What are you doing wandering around at night?”

“Couldn't find you…” Gabe murmured nestling closer to his brother. “Story time?”

“Of course, Gabey.” Lucifer agreed, nestling the little one against his chest as he laid down. “What story shall we have tonight?”

“Life planet!” Gabe smiled, looking up at his big brother.

“Which one?” Lucifer asked, twitching the fingers on his right arm which caused vines to grow from the ceiling to grab their nest and rock it from side to side like Gabe had always enjoyed.

“When Luci will go down…” Gabe murmured, rubbing his eyes.

“Alright but just this one because someone’s a sleepy little sheep,” Lucifer softly chuckled, gently grooming the youngest’s golden wings. “You are the only angel that wants to sleep.”

Gabriel pouted and stuck his tongue out at his brother before nuzzling his face against the older angel’s neck. He couldn't help that he was created with a touch of the sun and the lesser light of the moon didn't suffice.

“One day, very soon, Daddy will create mortals in our image. They will be beautiful and bright like us. They will walk the earth and mingle with all the other life from bees and butterflies to elephants, big cats, and wild dogs,” Lucifer murmured, looking out over the vast expanse of Heaven. “I will descend, tucking my wings away, and walk among them. They shall know me and I will guide them. I will help them find their place in their vast yet tiny world and teach them the ways of God. They will accept me as I have been blessed to be before. I will be able to walk among them as one of them…”

There was a pensive silence that caused concern in the younger angel. His mentor had never been quite like this in the night before. There was an odd and far away look on his face. Gabe frowned and gently pat his brother's chin as he used to when he was just created. Lucifer shook his head and smiled softly, but it was fake. Something was not right and it was getting more obvious every day.

“I could even rule over them if I do pleased,” Lucifer continued, a much more somber tone to his words. “They would revere and bow to me. It would only be natural as they are mere mortals instead of us bowing to them and catering to their whims.”

Gabe pushed himself up and crawled out of the nest, tears burning his eyes and he fluttered his little wings to help him land softly on the cushy ground below. He ran to find God, who was at the Fountain of Hope, watching to see what his first attempt at mortals would do. Gabe was in tears as he tugged on his Father’s tunic.

“What's wrong, my little trickster?” God inquired, his brow furrowing in worry as he cradled his youngest archangel in his arms.

“Luci say naughty things, Papa,” Gabe cried, clinging to God. “He never talks like that cause he says it's bad, but now says it and- and he believes it… Want my Luci back, Papa…”

God frowned deeply at Gabriel’s words. He cupped a hand to his son's cheek and looked into the memory that was troubling the cherubic angel. When he heard what his second created had said, he gasped in surprise.

“I will have a talk with your brother and help him through this,” God promised, glancing back at the Fountain. “Oh no… No, that's not right…”

“P-papa?” Gabe hesitated, too afraid to look for himself.

“We must gather your brothers,” God responded, getting to his feet. “Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, come to me my children!”

Before long, all were gathered before God and the others could sense the turmoil within Lucifer. They all exchanged concerned looks before turning their attention to their Father.

“As you all know, I attempted to create mortals in our image,” God began, allowing Lucifer to take Gabriel into his arms at the youngest’s consent. “They were never meant to be perfect but I fear they fall at the darkest depths of the imperfect. They are too dangerous to be left on such a fragile world so I must go and lock them away for the safety of themselves and all that is good. I will call upon you to help me seal them away once I have them gathered.”

“Yes, Father,” The archangels consented in unison.

With that, God rained down upon the earth and gathered his ‘misguided’ children. It was a struggle at times since many were unwilling to go without a fight. Eventually, the archangels heeded the call of God and locked the scoundrels away in a place to be known as purgatory that only the four brothers could unlock. In the Darkness, something crept after the youngest, who was equivalent to an eight year old mortal at the time. Gabriel panicked as it attempted to wrap around his legs and climb- the only visible parts being the black tendrils that burned as they made contact. Lucifer heard his brother's cry decimated the fiend- or so he thought- and took his baby brother into his arms.

“I will never let anything or anyone hurt you,” Lucifer promised, holding the smaller archangel close to his chest. But he never considered that he might be the one to hurt the littlest archangel.

A few more years passed and God announced the creation of the true mortal that would be known as human. There were only two in the beginning, a man and a woman, known as Adam and Eve. They were almost finished and God was eager to introduce them to the world and see how they fared. When their Father wasn't looking, Lucifer snuck down to earth under the cloak of night. He sat amongst the branches of the tree of knowledge and awaited the arrival of the humans.

While he waited, he daydreamed about what the mortals would look like. Would Adam look Michael? Or perhaps like Raphael? Maybe like himself or Gabriel? Or maybe the best features of all them…? What would Eve look like? He couldn't recall seeing much of his sisters in Heaven since the archangels were kept separate for the time being. After the problems with the Leviathan, God was more weary about mingling the different angels- partly out of fear that the less powerful would be hurt that were angels with greater power and higher rank.

“H-hello?” A voice hesitantly called out, sounding rather scared and frail. Perhaps this was Adam or Eve?

“Hello, are you Adam?” Lucifer inquired not moving from his branch just yet.

There was a pause.

“Yes, I am and I am in dire need of help,” the being answered. “Can you help me?”

“Of course, I can. I am a child of God and it is what we do,” Lucifer responded, his excitement clouding his judgment. “How may I aid you?”

“I am an incomplete being- my other half is missing- and I need more shelter than what I can find. This world is beautiful and terrifying,” He explained. “Can you help me find shelter?”

“My brother, you may take shelter in me until Father sends Eve to complete you.” Lucifer nobly offers, descending from the tree and stretching his arms and wings out to the supposed mortal.

As they embraced, the melded together as one. Lucifer stilled, his eyes going wide and his body tensing then trembling. He fell to the ground, losing the control he once had over his form as his wings scorched the earth and threatened to set it ablaze as the blackest ink filled his throat and choked him.

“Thanks, Brother,” the cretin chuckled darkly inside Lucifer’s head. “You naive winged fool.”

“Wh-what are you?” Lucifer sputtered.

“The very thing that you attempted to kill all those years ago when I went after your brother when you and yours locked mine away,” the creature hissed. “Enjoy the descent into madness, you self-righteous imbecile.”

The next day, Lucifer was able to return home just as the real Adam and Eve were placed on the earth. He flew back to Heaven and sought out his siblings and Father. When they all were gathered, they - except Gabriel who was himself ignored- disregarded his pleas for help and instead scolded him for disobeying the order to remain in Heaven and to leave the earth be, to not interfere. When he tried to speak of the incident, the foul Leviathan inside him threatened his family.

“Father, he is a danger to himself and all that is good!” Michael warned. “His pranks have gone from humorous to threatening! If he is allowed to continue to disobey and stay in your good graces all the while, he will set Heaven ablaze and leave all in ruin!”

“I understand, Michael, but he is your brother and my son.” God reminded his eldest. “He also bears the burden of the Mark. With that in mind, he may not be himself and I will not condemn him for something that I have cursed him with.”

Gabriel sat back and stayed silent. He didn't like this anymore. He didn't know who to believe or what the fate of his mentor and brother really was. He listened as they came to an agreement that Lucifer be monitored for the time being and should his behavior and mentality continue to decline, he would be sent on a one way trip to Hell, banished from Heaven and locked away in a cage of his own making.

And it was so. For, years later as the humans flourished and grew as God intended- as the Leviathans should have, Lucifer’s behavior became erratic and ill-tempered. His actions and all the conflict they resulted in caused Gabriel to run away from Heaven and take refuge on earth, where he would hide for ages, posing as a Pagan deity. After a nearly fatal brawl with his brother after refusing to bow to the humans upon God’s wish, he was cast out of Paradise and forced to smelt blades of archangels together to form his own cage as his wings fell to the same ruin as his Leviathan infected mind and grace. He was then locked away with hundreds upon hundreds of seals enclosing him. In his mind, he cowered and cried for help. He desperately wished to tell Gabriel it was not him speaking and acting, that he was poisoned and he was no longer himself. All the while, the Leviathan laughed at him and told him to get comfortable for millenniums would pass before he's ever see even the surface and when he did, it would be ablaze with the unholy flames of the apocalypse.

Everything he ever loved would be decimated.


End file.
